The small details in your lives are what really matters in relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the money in the bank.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do
those little things for each other that build intimacy.
A story I found on facebook...
"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our home, our car and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I love Jane so dearly. Then she cried out loud in front of me. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
2 days after, she presented me her divorce conditions; she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that 1 month we both live a normal life as possible. Her reason was simple : our son had his exams in a month time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day; and did the same thing every day in that month.
My wife and I hadn't had body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
On the 2nd day, both of us acted more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. She was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles and her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the 6th day, when i lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given 10 years of her life to me. Days after I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
At one morning, my son looked at me and said, Dad it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become essential part of his life. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. I held her tight and said I hadn't notice that our life lacked of intimacy.
Then I drove my car to Jane's, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay could make me change my mind. I walked upstairs, Jane opened the door and I apologize to her because I couldn't do the divorce anymore.
I realize that my marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I was supposed to hold her until death do us apart. On my way home I dropped by a florist and ordered a bouquet of flower for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
When I arrived home, flowers in my hand, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs only to find my wife on the bed - she passed away. My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with everything else to notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed through the divorce. - at least, in the eyes of our son, I am a loving husband."
A story I found on facebook...
"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our home, our car and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I love Jane so dearly. Then she cried out loud in front of me. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
2 days after, she presented me her divorce conditions; she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that 1 month we both live a normal life as possible. Her reason was simple : our son had his exams in a month time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day; and did the same thing every day in that month.
My wife and I hadn't had body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
On the 2nd day, both of us acted more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. She was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles and her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the 6th day, when i lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given 10 years of her life to me. Days after I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
At one morning, my son looked at me and said, Dad it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become essential part of his life. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. I held her tight and said I hadn't notice that our life lacked of intimacy.
Then I drove my car to Jane's, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay could make me change my mind. I walked upstairs, Jane opened the door and I apologize to her because I couldn't do the divorce anymore.
I realize that my marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I was supposed to hold her until death do us apart. On my way home I dropped by a florist and ordered a bouquet of flower for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
When I arrived home, flowers in my hand, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs only to find my wife on the bed - she passed away. My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with everything else to notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed through the divorce. - at least, in the eyes of our son, I am a loving husband."
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