Small Details in Relationship

The small details in your lives are what really matters in relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

A story I found on facebook...

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
 Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our home, our car and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I love Jane so dearly. Then she cried out loud in front of me. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

2 days after, she presented me her divorce conditions; she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that 1 month we both live a normal life as possible. Her reason was simple : our son had his exams in a month time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day; and did the same thing every day in that month. 

(mau) Mulai Rajin Masak Lagi

Udah mulai males masak nihhh... Dulu rajin karena masa mpasi agni kan maunya semuanya homemade. Sebisa mungkin menghindari makanan instan pabrikan. Jadi mulai lah tu masa-masa bikin kaldu, gravy dan puree; malahan sering dalam jumlah banyak trus dijadiin frozen food.

Trus sekarang apa kabar..?? Males hehe *jedotin pala ke tembok*

Semenjak agni udah mulai makan table food, menunya dia diserahkan semua ke nenek yang setiap hari pasti masak at least jenis sop-sop-an yang tinggal cemplang cemplung. Gw masak mostly weekend aja, itupun ada masanya on-off. Kalau ada plan pergi seharian, udah deh tuh bubar niat masaknya. 

Kalo lagi bener sih suka iseng bikin tumisan simpel untuk dibawa bekel ngantor gw dan agung. Tapi itu juga ga setiap hari jalan. Tiap mau bangun subuh berasa banyak utang tidur haha *ini sih alesan yak*. Faktor lain yang bikin suka males adalah si agni kalo dimasakin suka ga dimakan. Macam gak doyan masakan gw. Ini nih sebenernya yang bikin ngedrop yah. Either mang ga suka or makanan gw tastenya mang ga enak. Seriusan jadi gak semangat masak lagi gara-gara ini.

Tapi setelah blog-walking hari ini, gw nampaknya beneran pengen rajin masak lagi deh. Salah satu solusinya adalah bikin semuanya dalam 1 batch yang banyak, dibekuin dan dimasak/angetin sesuai kebutuhan. Logikanya sih cukup membantu ya, apalagi gw ga punya banyak waktu di rumah. Kalo mau ngerjain pagi, gw mesti bangun subuh sedangkan malem aja tidur gw kurang. Kalo maksa ngerjain malem duh udah nyampe rumah capek, mesti masak, trus beberes cucian piringnya huhuhu.

Jadi berbekal tips tips menu yang bisa dibikin banyak batch dan dibekuin (or at least bisa masuk chiller), start next weekend mau mulai kebiasaan masak lagi. Trus disempetin beli oven listrik buat bikin makanan ala ala bule gitu. Dan diselipkan doa semoga agni makannya mulai lahap dan doyan ma masakan gw. Amiiinnnn

A Man We Called Husband

Behind every great man stands a great woman

Either a lover, wife, mother or grandmother. But for most husbands, it is their wives.

Postingan kali ini sifatnya lebih ke confession. Tanpa mengurangi rasa bersyukur atas keadaan sekarang, gw kadang berasa suka kebanyakan ngeluh. Ngeluhnya sih jarang diomongin, tapi berasa banget days when I just 'fight' with my emotions.

Seperti yang sering gw omongin, bahwa expectation leads to disappointment. So to prevent feeling disappointed, you simply just need to stop expecting.

Jangka waktu gw pacaran sampai menikah itu less than a year. Mengesampingkan keraguan menikah karena percaya bahwa human being evolves. Inget omongan survival of the fittest? Sebenernya bukan yang kuat yang menang; buat gw arti yang lebih tepat adalah siapa yang bisa menempatkan diri itu yang bisa bertahan. Pacaran lama bukan jaminan bahwa pernikahan akan bertahan selamanya, dan siapa bilang kalau pacarannya bentar lalu nikahnya bentar juga.

Gw pernah bilang bahwa marriage is an endurance training. How you manage yourself to endure on those bickering and emotional fighting to each other. Cause come on, marriage is no fairytale at all ya. It's a true roller-coaster ride. You can be bitching about each other last night, and be all lovey-dovey in the morning. And this roller-coaster ride of mine, I've lost counts of how many laps those ups and downs went through our way.

Between Love and Attachment

I found this interesting quote on Pinterest...

Try not to confuse Attachment with Love. Attachment is about fear and dependency, and has more to do with love of self than love of other. Love without attachment is the purest love because it isn't about what others can give you because you're empty. It is about what you can give to others because you're already full.

Ever feel oftenly disappointed because not getting what you wanted? Then maybe you are expecting too much. Expectation leads to disappointment.

Or maybe having difficulties to move on? Afraid of not being able to feel the way you used to feel? Then maybe you are being too attach.

Only you can make yourself happy. Only you can fill in your empty cup.

Hello Little You

An addition to my apple family. A special edition from a special person. Akhirnya punya iPod lagiiii... Ihiiiiyyyy...

 

Liat iPod nano warnanya kan lucu lucu ya. Mulai celamitan deh pengin punya soalnya suka susah kl mau denger musik di iPhone. Batere cepet drain out. Males bolak balik charge hp. Alasan pembenaran kyknya. Tapi karena cuma pengin penginan, ya gak ngoyo beli. Ini juga maksudnya ga ngoyo beli karena ngarep dikadoin.

Eh lalu lalu hari sabtu kemarin dihadiahin ini ma agung :D :D :D

Hari itu dia ada regrup di sency. Tadinya gw mau sekalian jemput then nengokin grenma. Trus dia bilang mesti cek lokasi di gading sampai malem jadi nampaknya plan hari itu mesti cancel. Okelah tidur siang aja ma agni - tidur sore sih, secara agni baru merem jam 4 x_x Jam 6 tau-tau agung udah di rumah dan ada kotak iPod di sebelah. Cengar cengir sambil sok-sokan nanya "Ini buat aku??", "Kamu kapan beli?", "Ih kok hadiahnya lucu" dan pertanyaan gengges lainnya *tepok jidat*. Yaudahsihniaaaa dibuka aja itu kotaknyaaaahhh...

Udah curigesyen karena pagi-pagi ditanyain warna kesukaannya apa. Dan jawaban gw cukup random "No particular color sih, kalo nemu warna bagus pasti suka".. zzzz thanks a lot for the information loh niaaaa...

Akhirnya dibeliin warna merah. Selain karena itu warnanya bold banget, it's a special edition! Katanya buat special person ihik ihik ihik... Pas dibongkar kotaknya si Agni yang heboh. Dipikirnya kita mbeliin dia henpon kali ya soalnya ditaruh di kuping kayak orang nelpon sambil nyerocos ga jelas hahaha

Thanks for the gift ya Darl... XOXOXO

Eh eh aku juga kasih kado anniversary dong... Beliin kemeja batik. Kemeja karena elemen anniversary kedua itu cotton, so a cotton shirt it is. Batiknya soalnya dia kan lagi pengen 'nabung' batik banyak jadi sekalian aja :D

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty  

/ˌserənˈdipitē/

Noun

The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way

Serendipity means a "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"

I had my serendipity moments. The serendipity that made me become who I am today. A wife, and a mother. Still thanking the universe for the accidental acquaintance that night. It doesn't really matter about what happened and how we finally decided to get married. Because every now and then, whenever I looked back, I can only feel grateful of all the things that comes my way.

Happy anniversary to us. Yes, we bicker every day. No, our relationship is not a perfect one. But I am glad I have you two in my life. During those moments of downfall, I know I always have a reason to smile and laugh.

Originally written on 12 February 2013

DIY : Candy Jar

What You Need

 

Finished Product

Lumayan juga buat ide kado valentine kemarin. Kalau ngasih cokelat aja kan udah biasa, makanya kita 'manisin' pakai kata-kata mutiara yah hohoho. Modalnya cuma mason jar (gw pake bekas botol UC 1000), permen warna warni - paling cocok sih M&Ms tapi krn lg keabisan jadi campur ma chacha & chic choc, color characteristic list, pita, kertas, lem.

Green is for the INSPIRATIONS you give me every day

Red is for the PASSION you have in doing what you love

Yellow is for such a FUN life I have being with you

Orange is for your WARMTH, and the way you always make me smile

Blue is for being a TRUSTWORTHY companion in my life

Sunday Brunch

Hari minggu kemarin kita pergi sunday brunch ke Mangia di panglima polim. Niatnya sih sampai sana jam 10an, tapi nasib sudirman car free day jadi rada macica dari depan tvri sampai ke depan sency, alhasil kita sampai pangpol hampir setengah 12. Ini sih udah pre-lunch yah sodara sodaraaa...

Resto ini kebetulan salah satu yang punya adalah temen kantornya Agung, jadi kita mampir buat icip-icip deh. Dekor restonya vintage shabby chic gitu. Warna-warnanya kiyut kiyut semua deh. Dan gw naksir ama salah satu cabinet di ujung tangga; tapi ga mungkin difoto yah, tengsin saya atuh). Karena resto ini baru buka beberapa minggu jadi menunya pun masih trial, jadi belum terlalu banyak (which is for me is a good thing, daripada kebingungan mau pesen yang mana toh).

*sorry no picture was taken Agung order Mangia's Big Breakfast dan Island Coconut. Kebayang lah big breakfast isinya apa, eggs of our choice (agung order omellete), baked beans, salad, 2 slices baguette toast & choices of turkey/beef bacon or sausage (agung order turkey).

I ordered the house specialty : Swedish Meatballs dan Watermelon crush. The meatballs was sooo yum! sides nya pakai mashed potato, gravy and strawberry jam. Duh kebayang-bayang mulu nih di lidah. 

But I dont really like my drink. Itu jus semangka + melon dikasih daun mint, dan after taste nya buat gw berasa terlalu 'daun' (as in too leafy). Whilst Agung's taste like pina collada.

Agni's meal as simple as scrambled egg (and I also gave her my mashed potato + meatballs, but she shoved it away), which she almost finished it. Yaayyy!!

Terakhiran kita dikasih complimentary wheat-grass shot sama Cacu. Lupa nanya itu isinya apa aja tapi warna ijo ditaruh di shot glass plus slice of orange on the side. Kata mas masnya itu khasiatnya kayak konsumsi 1 kg sayuran. Rasanya not bad, bisa diminum tanpa ngernyit ngernyit. Funny thing, it smells and taste like sushi tehehehe. Oia we also had Banana Pancake with choco sauce and Ferero Rocher ice cream as a complimentary dessert (banyak complimentnya yah Cacu :* ). LOVE the ice cream.

Pas awal-awal makanannya dateng, penampakannya kayak sedikit gitu. Agung malah sempet mikir salah pesen karena dia bukan typical orang yang 'sarapan' menu breakfast ala ala bule gitu kan. Tapi ternyata porsinya pas dan mengenyangkan. Will definitely go back to Mangia. Love the place and the menus. Lain kali gw mau coba eggs benedictnya dia ahh...

Swedish Meatballs

Nungguin makanan. Nyai laper :p

Mangia
Jalan Panglima Polim V no 38

Perempatan 711 belok kanan, your destination will be on the right (sebelah Taco Local)

Agni GTM??

Udah beberapa hari terakhir ini Agni keliatan gak napsu makan. Dikasih ini itu semuanya geleng. Paling banter kena 2 - 5 suap sendok makannya dia yang seuprit itu, abis itu melengos pergi.

Dimasakin aneka pasta dan bread - butter pudding kesukaannya dia juga lewat aja gituh. Mana pas wiken kemaren ketemuan ma anak-anak pada komen 'si Agni kok kurusan ya Ni?' hadeeeehhh sutris deh.

Kepikiran ini anak bosen kali ya makannya itu mulu, yuk deh coba bikin resep baru nyontek web. Eh gak mempan juga. Duh bikin emaknya ngedrop deh kamu nak. 

Alhasil Agni jadi lebih sering minta susu. Ya iyalah lingkaran setan banget tuh. Males makan. Minta susu. Nyusu mulu. Jadi kekenyangan ga mau makan. 

Tapiii itu anak ngemilnya jalan mulu. Ngemil biskuit tapi. Dikasih cemilan macam kentang goreng, pisang gitu gitu ga mau juga.

Mungkin lagi tumbuh gigi? Mungkin aja. Gw liat sih gigi bawahnya lagi mau nongol satu lagi. Tapi ini sih faktor paling kecil sih. Anaknya juga ga rewel. Masih pecicilan aja.

Semalem pergi ke ambas, jajan sana sini. Agni ngemil singkong thailand, dan berujung makan beef bowl yoshinoya. Lumayan sih hampir 10 suap masuk mulut. Tapi trus udah, mingkem lagi.

14 Februari 2013
Beli scott's emulsion buat nambah napsu makan. 2 hari nyoba, kata nenek dia jadi diare. Well bahkan pas wiken juga pupnya sempet rada diare. Dapet laporan kalau dia males banget disodorin nasi, lebih prefer biskuit or roti tawar. Yak mesti balik ngubek milis mpasi rumahan buat masak menu baru. The thing is, when I cooked something for her then she refused, rasanya tuh failed banget. Sedih hiks *drama*  

14 Februari

Hari ini Valentine's Day.
Trus penting...?? Penting gak penting sih.
Tapi buat cancerian kayak gw yang menjunjung tinggi romantisme, hari ini itu penting.

Sepenting apa? Sepenting bisa kasih knick knacks unyu gak penting ke orang tersayang.

Tiap valentine atau anniversary rasanya udah kebayang mau bikin atau kasih apa. Gak mesti barang yang dibeli. Karena gw lebih prefer bikin sendiri. Lebih berasa usahanya bikin seneng gitu *meski ga tau yah yang dkasih beneran seneng apa engga*

Lalu hari ini bikin apa?? Hari ini bikin ngedrop!!! Blas malesnya.

Planningnya adalah mau kasih hamper 'Sweets for my Sweet' buat agung. Kemarin gw udah persiapin botol isi permen M&Ms trus ada tulisan menye menye. Toples isi homemade cocoa mix sama homemade frapucinno mix. Plus kemeja katun batik hadiah 2nd anniversary. Harusnya sih dikasihnya tadi pagi, tapi dasar oon itu botol permen malah ditinggal di kantor. Bubar lah surprise valentine's day. Ya sudah nanti malem aja lah ya. Toh tadi pagi udah kode ngajak ke loobie lobster di gunawarman.

Sounds okay rite, trus ngedropnya kenapaaaaaa??? Sesimpel baca mention ritwitan di twitter.

So I guess why bother making and planning this to be a romantic day then... 

Tau sih, kalo mau ngasih ya ngasih aja. Ga usah ngarep balesan serupa. Toh yang penting niatnya terlaksana. Tapi gimanapun juga, gw kan suka ya bikin-bikin ga jelas gini dan I feel that today is the day I can give those kinds of 'crafty' stuff for him. Cuma kalo di awal aja komennya udah begitu ya gw jadi males lanjutnya.

*Beberapa kali ngeliat buket bunga bersliweran depan mata dan ditutup dengan pertanyaan naif si avri : Noti bunganya mana???. Hih minta ditabok*

Wake Up Call

*Warning. This will be a long post*

Last weekend was such a drama. Even if it only applied to me, I considered it a wake-up call.

Now there are 2 'babies' in the house that needs constant care and full monitoring; Agni and Kakek. Nenek is obviously taking care of kakek and the house, and 'sending' agni to the mom & dad to be taken care of. We can now feel the parenting role which was supposed to happened 1.5 years ago :D

Almost a month I'm handling agni. Unpleasant moments are feeding and sleeping time. Why feeding? Cos she's not always fond of the food, resulting in just a mere less than 10 spoonful of food. But once in a while she would pick up the spoon and feed herself. Now the sleeping time. She used to sleep at 8.30pm. But lately on that hour she's still playing, thus she sleeps at 10 - 10.30pm. And woke up at 7.30 - 8am. She even woke up at 9.30 on sunday *gasp*. How her parents created a vicious cycle for her...